Since my life is know packed away neatly in boxes ready to be dragged back up state to school it got me thinking about saying my goodbyes, and how i dont really say goodbye. I kinda just say see you later and leave and let things be, and fade away. I have never really understood the point in making things all emotional.

This whole topic of leaving and saying goodbye reminded me to check up on my old email account. Something i do to check to make sure i haven't missed anything important that might have gotten sent to an old account, and as i was checking it i looked over old emails and correspondents.

Its so weird to look over things you wrote when you were younger and see how much you have changed. For me i realize how annoying i could be at some points but also how lost i generally was. It seems sad for me to think that almost all of my interactions with family and my best friend were through email. Its also heart breaking for me to see what an effort i put into school because i lacked anything else to really to do, espically since i put in all that effort into school to see myself kinda get screwed over. Mind you i love the school i go to know and its a pretty good school, its just fucked up that i put all that effort into school and got admitted to the place of my dreams only to get turned down because my parents decided to switch me around and fuck up my financial aid.

 It also made me realize how much of an integral point G-Quest was in my life. Right know at this point in my life i dont really miss him, but on some level somtime i look around or say somthing and realize how he would understand me. He was like my brother in ways and looking about know it sad that we are no longer in touch. Losing a best friend like that is so hard, because he was a part of me, but its also even harder to keep something going just because of what it was like in the past. I am debating if i should send him an message but at the same time i don't want to jeopardize my life know for something that might not pan out in the end. .......

Think this is long and confusing enough yet? I should sleep i have a hard day of shopping ahead of me tomorrow

As stated above i have left the crypt and once again vowed to blog! Think it will last about 3 weeks, anyone want to place some bets?
I have ventured home for the summer, yet again, and recovered health wise. I no longer need to drink two pots of coffee a day to keep me moving, i am also getting 8 full hours of sleep and 3 real meals a day! I also haven't sneezed since i have gotten here, or written an essay! I never knew i could take such joy from not spending all day, and many consecutive days,  sitting in a library drinking coffee and typing endlessly.
In other news i have a new computer, which i have already managed to break the battery on :). Hey it last a full 2 days before it stopped working. Once it is repaired i think i will officially retire Steven and introduce Annabel but until then i am bouncing back between the two.
I think i am addicted to apple sauce and need some new fan fiction to read.
 MissObtuse

*disclaimer: probily doesn't make much sense and used the work fuck and ? ALOT.

In the course of 24 hours i have lost 3 sources of music :( FUCK my life. What the hell Ruckus????? You just disappear over night??? And you Yahoo Launch Cast Music, you just all off a sudden are bought by CBS, so know my awesome personalized radio station is gone????? Fuck this shit Yahoo i demand my radio back or i am switching to Google out of spite! I mean Christ what is a girl suppose to do, actually buy the music she likes?

In other news
It was hailing today!
Iv some how managed to upset my bf again, over something totally lame like cuddling, i mean wtf? Obvioulsy he wasn't as nerd as i though. Why cant i date someone who hates lovey dovy shit as much as me?
Valentines Day is lame i think i actually like it better when i was single and got to sit around and eat to much. Opposed to spend a shit ton of time and money trying to be descent person, sitting around catering to everyone elses needs. Only to end up with a still pissed off boyfriend.
Roommates, seriously WTMFF? How is it that my roommates girlfriend who lives in San Diego manages to be at our aprt in San Fran every fucking weekend??? They are on apposite sides of the state? And when are you loud  ass going to learn to clean up after yourself????